I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

Today is the birthday of my one and only queen Joanne Rowling, and my all-time favourite guy, the boy who lived, aka Harry Potter. The aim of this post is to express with words how much Harry Potter means to me, and I found that extremely difficult to do, but I'll give it a try.

I first read Harry Potter when it was translated to Swedish, in 1999. I was eight, and over night my world changed. The books, the incredible Rowling and Harry himself all mean the utmost to me. The magical world that Rowling created was an escape for me. I was bullied as a child, and the wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter became my safe haven. My biggest wish was (possibly still is) that one day a letter would arrive for me by owl, and I would be invited into this magnificent place of magic and adventure.

As I grew older into my teenage years, I felt like my peers didn't understand me, the bullying continued (and got worse actually), but I had my sanctuary. Harry Potter became the one place where I could be me without a worry. Like so many other kids I became obsessed with everything to do with Harry Potter. I read and reread the books, watched the films over and over, and depleted the internet of HP-stuff. It went so far that I learned the spells, and I was convinced that I had to improve my English in order to get my letter to Hogwarts. When Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was published in 2000 I read it in English. It was the first "real" book I read in English.

Top: Mademoiselle R by La Redoute

Skirt: Miss Patina

Scarf: 9 3/4 in London

Wand: 9 3/4 in London

Necklace: Asos

Tattoo: Tattify

Harry Potter has been such a massive part of my life for the majority of my life (two thirds to be exact). As the films came to an end part of my childhood died. I remember watching the live stream of the premier of Deathly Hallows part 2 with tears streaming down my face, because it was "the end". Pottermore has filled that void that I feared so much. And I still reckon that the owl must have gotten lost on it's way to Sweden, it got confused by all the snow. Obviously.

In 2013 I had the opportunity to do something I had been dying to do for years. I finally went to The Making of Harry Potter at the WB Studios in London, and as the doors to the Great Hall opened I cried my eyes out. I couldn't even photograph because I was crying so much, but a woman working there assured me that they do have "cryers".  I've added a photo of me standing in front of the Ravenclaw (GO RAVENCLAW!) table once my crying seized.

And that, my friends, was the one time I have felt most at home. In the Great Hall I felt like I was finally where I should be. I felt like it clicked, suddenly everything made sense. And on that note I'll end. Harry Potter makes sense to me. Without Harry Potter I'm not who I am.

I wish Joanne Rowling a very Happy Birthday. Thank you for everything you've created, thank you for giving me refuge in a world that is purely magical. And to Harry Potter, my first love (even though he's 11 years older than me), you will always live.

Standing out

Red is one of my favourite colours to wear. I think it flatters me and looks good with my dark hair, however up until a year ago I had no red dresses in my wardrobe. Red is an eye-catching colour, it draws attention and makes you stand out. Which were all things that I did not want for myself until a year or so ago.

I think many people can relate in that I wanted nothing more than to blend in, not stick out and go by as unnoticeable as possible. Some life events had made me not want to catch the attention of other people, especially men. But as time went by I noticed that the dark-clad version of me, that would blend into the background, was in fact not really me. I love to wear bright colours. I love to wear dresses with bows and cute prints. So I am glad to say that I have once again found myself style-wise and this dress from La Redoute is a testament of that. It is a bright orangey red colour and it has big bows. It's got a bit of a 60's feel to it, so I paired it with a polka dotted head scarf. And I felt magnificent in it!

Can you relate to not wanting to stand out? Or do you want to stand out with your style? Have you always wanted to stand out, or did it take time/effort to get to that point? I would love to hear what you lovely people think about this matter.

Dress: Mademoiselle R by La Redoute (here)

Headscarf: Old, can't remember where I got it

Much love to all of you!

Macarons & Instagram Giveaway

I cannot believe it myself, but a total of 1000 people are following me on Instagram (@curlsncakes). That's a lot of people. So many, that I would be highly uncomfortable if I was actually around 1000 people, but the distance that the internet provides makes me feel safe. Through Instagram I've met many special people. I've met people I can call my friends and I value the relationships I've made through social media very much.

In order to celebrate 1000 people (still can't process it) following me, I am hosting a Giveaway on Instagram. I will be giving a handmade (by myself) macaron necklace to one lucky winner. It will look like the pink one I'm wearing in these pictures but the winner will be able to choose the colour of her/his preference.

So if you want a sweet little macaron necklace, find the original post on my Instagram and follow the instructions.

I love macarons. They are the perfect little pieces of sweetness. I also love making macarons, even though it can be tricky. Macarons are volatile but that's part of their charm. Because they are so unpredictable, I respect macarons greatly. A good macaron is a piece of craftsmanship at it's best.

My beautiful bow headband is from Beau xoxo, which is one of my favourite etsy shops and because the theme of today is macarons, the print is of course of colourful and cute little macarons. I adore this headband!

Dress: ModCloth (here)

Headband: Beau xoxo (here)

Necklace: Handmade by myself, but you can win one on my IG

But back to the necklace. It will be in the colour of the winner's choice and completely handmade by me, so don't forget to check out the Giveaway on my instagram!

Much love!

Fear, Anxiety and Saying "Yes" to New Experiences

This is going to be a rather personal post, but I feel like it is the direction I want my blog to take. I want to start posting about more important things and one of those things is mental illness and awareness of mental illness.

Let's rewind for a second and talk about new experiences.
I recently went golfing for the first time ever in my life and I was close to not taking part of it at all. I suffer from OCD, anxiety and depression, so anything new is scary for me. My mind works in a way where every situation can become potentially dangerous within a matter of seconds. Uncertainty is my enemy, and I worry. A lot. And about everything. So playing golf, although it sounds harmless enough, had me nervous for days prior to game day. It wasn't so much about the golf that I was worried about, but because of my OCD and anxiety any new experience is frightening to the point where I for many years stopped doing anything new where I would be in an uncertain environment.

I've come to realise during the years where I've avoided everything (almost everything), that life really is about experiences. I didn't turn out to be a natural at golf (but I looked cute while golfing in my striped dress). I wasn't very good at all, but it was more fun than I expected it to be. The point I want to reach is that doing things you haven't before can be scary for anyone (whether or not you suffer from anxiety disorders), but if I managed to go golfing then surely I can also do other things that scare me. Say "Yes" to new experiences because they're what your life will be about in the end.

Dress: ModCloth (here)

Because I am a scientist by day, I have to take this opportunity and talk about the science behind fear and when that goes wrong and turns into anxiety disorders or phobias. Fear is a natural and healthy response to potential threats or harm. Fear is good. Fear is what has kept humans alive for all these years, our instinct of fight-or-flight has maintained us as a species. The amygdala is a part of the brain that is associated with fear. When the senses pick up on something that may be threatening or harmful the signal is sent through the brain to the amygdala. The amygdala activates autonomic responses and makes sure that hormones are secreted that elicit the feeling of fear, or more importantly an alertness that results in the fight-or-flight response. Some of the hormones that are secreted are epinephrine, norepinephrine and cortisol. These hormones make the heart beat faster, the blood flow increases and glucose is released (among other things). The body is ready to move quickly (i.e. run) or fight off the threat at this point.

Once the threat is gone the brain will signal this so the hormones will not be secreted anymore. The problem with anxiety disorders and phobias etc. is that something has gone wrong somewhere in the mechanism, and therefore fear is perceived when there is no real threat. The feelings are out of control. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I know that the threat can feel incredibly real. At times you know your fear is irrational, but there are also times when it feels like it is completely justified (your brain is deceiving you). However, it is important to remember that the feeling of fear is as real for the person with a disorder as the person actually posed with a threat. It's the same feeling, and you are just as unable to control it. So if you yourself suffer from an anxiety disorder or a phobia - just living is an amazing feat that you are doing! And if you know anyone with an anxiety disorder, know that what they are feeling is completely beyond their control, and remember how you feel yourself when you are afraid. Be kind.

I think I have reached the end of what I wanted to talk about for today, I just want to end by saying that it is difficult for me to write about mental illness, but I am resolved to do so - because realising that it is okay to speak about it will help end the stigma, and might encourage someone else to raise awareness.
Take care of yourselves!

Much love!

My Jam

This beautiful and quirky dress from Book of Deer is perfect for baking in and eating in. The lovely novelty print featuring jam jars is as sweet as the jam it's portraying. Wearing this dress, I instantly knew I had to bake something tasty with jam. So I opted for these cute little mini cakes with raspberry jam - they turned out disappearingly tasty. The recipe is for 12 mini cakes, but it can easily be halved.

MINI JAM CAKES

INGREDIENTS

• 1 batch of Lemon Cupcakes - recipe here.
• Raspberry Jam
• Whipped cream
• Raspberries

DIRECTIONS

Start by making the Lemon Cupcakes. I have previously described in detail how they are made. You can find it right here.

Once the Lemon Cupcakes have cooled, cut off the "muffin top" and then cut the cylinder shape you are left with in two. The muffin tops are scraps (you can eat them :D ), and you should be left with 24 circles.

Place the lower parts of your cut cupcakes on a plate and then spread about two teaspoons of jam onto the base of the mini cakes. Put the second layer onto the mini cakes and then decorate with piped whipped cream and a raspberry on each mini cake.

Dress: Book of Deer (here)

Belt: From a ModCloth dress (here)

Much love!