2015-07-15

Fear, Anxiety and Saying "Yes" to New Experiences


This is going to be a rather personal post, but I feel like it is the direction I want my blog to take. I want to start posting about more important things and one of those things is mental illness and awareness of mental illness.

Let's rewind for a second and talk about new experiences.
I recently went golfing for the first time ever in my life and I was close to not taking part of it at all. I suffer from OCD, anxiety and depression, so anything new is scary for me. My mind works in a way where every situation can become potentially dangerous within a matter of seconds. Uncertainty is my enemy, and I worry. A lot. And about everything. So playing golf, although it sounds harmless enough, had me nervous for days prior to game day. It wasn't so much about the golf that I was worried about, but because of my OCD and anxiety any new experience is frightening to the point where I for many years stopped doing anything new where I would be in an uncertain environment.

I've come to realise during the years where I've avoided everything (almost everything), that life really is about experiences. I didn't turn out to be a natural at golf (but I looked cute while golfing in my striped dress). I wasn't very good at all, but it was more fun than I expected it to be. The point I want to reach is that doing things you haven't before can be scary for anyone (whether or not you suffer from anxiety disorders), but if I managed to go golfing then surely I can also do other things that scare me. Say "Yes" to new experiences because they're what your life will be about in the end.


Dress: ModCloth (here)


Because I am a scientist by day, I have to take this opportunity and talk about the science behind fear and when that goes wrong and turns into anxiety disorders or phobias. Fear is a natural and healthy response to potential threats or harm. Fear is good. Fear is what has kept humans alive for all these years, our instinct of fight-or-flight has maintained us as a species. The amygdala is a part of the brain that is associated with fear. When the senses pick up on something that may be threatening or harmful the signal is sent through the brain to the amygdala. The amygdala activates autonomic responses and makes sure that hormones are secreted that elicit the feeling of fear, or more importantly an alertness that results in the fight-or-flight response. Some of the hormones that are secreted are epinephrine, norepinephrine and cortisol. These hormones make the heart beat faster, the blood flow increases and glucose is released (among other things). The body is ready to move quickly (i.e. run) or fight off the threat at this point.

Once the threat is gone the brain will signal this so the hormones will not be secreted anymore. The problem with anxiety disorders and phobias etc. is that something has gone wrong somewhere in the mechanism, and therefore fear is perceived when there is no real threat. The feelings are out of control. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I know that the threat can feel incredibly real. At times you know your fear is irrational, but there are also times when it feels like it is completely justified (your brain is deceiving you). However, it is important to remember that the feeling of fear is as real for the person with a disorder as the person actually posed with a threat. It's the same feeling, and you are just as unable to control it. So if you yourself suffer from an anxiety disorder or a phobia - just living is an amazing feat that you are doing! And if you know anyone with an anxiety disorder, know that what they are feeling is completely beyond their control, and remember how you feel yourself when you are afraid. Be kind.


I think I have reached the end of what I wanted to talk about for today, I just want to end by saying that it is difficult for me to write about mental illness, but I am resolved to do so - because realising that it is okay to speak about it will help end the stigma, and might encourage someone else to raise awareness.
Take care of yourselves!

Much love!

10 comments:

  1. I am so glad you shared this today! I, too, worry so much about such things as change, uncertainty over a situation, new experiences. It is so hard to push it aside sometimes and accept the unknown! My boyfriend, Cody, has been a tremendous supporter - encouraging me to face new challenges head on and to not worry about things that are out of my control (aka the WORST). I love reading blogs with personal posts - keep it up!!

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    1. Thank you so much Sara! I truly understand what you mean when you say it's hard to push aside, it's terrifying and then your supposed to just let it be?! I'm very glad you have such a nice boyfriend that supports you. I believe that our family and friends that support us are our biggest help. Good job with trying not to worry and facing new challenges! It will be so rewarding in the end. Thank you so much for your input, I really appreciate it! <3 <3
      Much love to you!

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  2. This post is great, Mona. It takes so much courageous to write about personal experiences - well done. I honestly think this post in itself should be considered as conquering a new experience, in addition to golfing. I personally do not suffer from anxiety, but I have someone very close to me who does. It's great to talk about it and bring awareness to mental illness...because if it's something that is just swept under the rug, those who do not suffer will never be able to understand or help. Keep up the awesome work!

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    1. Thank you so much Lindsey, means a lot to me. I hadn't even thought about it in that way, but I think you're very right :D
      Being someone close to a person that suffers can't be easy. But well done on being supportive. And I completely agree with you that it's great to talk about it to help those around us from understanding.
      Thank you so very much <3
      Much love

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  3. Mona, what a great post! Thank you for writing it and having the courage to share all this with us. It's both empowering to read (because of all your sincerity) and sad to know that you suffer from these disorders (because I know what it feels like and I wouldn't wish it upon anybody). I think talking about science behind mental illness is indeed a great way to overthrow stigma which seems to linger around the subject. It lets people understand that it's not weakness that some of us have to endure, but indeed a sickness like any other. We have grown so used to separating the body from the mind that it often seems inconceivable that mental illness is, in fact, also a physical disorder.

    Once again, thank you. This was a very important post to read.

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    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comment Klara!
      I'm sorry you know what it's like, that breaks my heart to hear that, just like you, I would not wish this on even my worst enemy. YES! You are always so eloquent - I agree the science behind it will help us all, and it is like any other illness.
      Thank you so very much. I appreciate your input so much, and I'm very glad you commented. Lots of love to you!!
      <3

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  4. Great post love! I have been trying to share more personal facts about me on my blog as well. I do to suffer from depression and anxiety. I have worked to managed this myself but once in a while I suffer breakdowns. I worry aaaaa lotttt. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night thinking of the most insignificant thing to worry about. One of the worst things I suffer from is being a hypochondriac. I don't why, nothing has ever happen to me or snyone around me, but me and my brother suffer extremely from this thinking of the worst can happen to us because of little changes in our body. we grew up in a string household with both out parents and there wasn't a reason to for our depression and anxiety other than our brain. I want peie to understand this is not something we chose to be, or we want to be sad or angry or nervous or have breakdowns and attacks. It is truly a deficiency in something in our brain regardless and true illness.

    Xoxo,
    Carla Natalia

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment! I'm very sorry to hear that you suffer from depression and anxiety. You seem like a genuinely nice person, and I hate that you have to suffer from these illnesses, as they truly are hell. Breakdowns are normal, I get them from time to time also. We just have to remember to pick ourselves up after the breakdowns, and not be too hard on ourselves. Hypochondriasis is common for people with OCD (that I suffer from myself), so I can relate a bit. I'm terrified of germs and contagious illnesses, so I understand how hard it must be for you. It doesn't always have to do with something that has happened to you previously. Just like you say, sometimes the reason for the illness is purely biological, chemicals that are not in balance in the brain, or certain parts of the brain being too active or not active enough. I too would very much want people to understand that we don't choose this, you understand I'm sure, just like anyone who suffers from it, no-one would choose it, but for people who don't suffer from it, it can seem like we just worry too much, or act strange, it really isn't in our control. I appreciate your comments on this matter so very much, and I agree with basically everything you have to say. Slowly, by telling people how it really is we can hopefully make more people understand.
      Lots of love to you beautiful lady!
      <3

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  5. So glad you decided to write about this. So very proud. It's so important to talk about, both for yourself and for others to feel less alone or become educated.
    So much love to you. I know how hard it is to share such personal things.
    I hope you were only met with loving comments and responses. xx

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    1. Thank you so much! Your own post about it helped me a lot in deciding to write this, and it gave me the courage I needed. So I really must thank you!! <3
      You're the best! <3

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