2018-10-14

Autumn Allure


Hi all,
I've been longing to write a bit so here comes a blog post.
In the latest post I wrote about what had happened in 2017 and the beginning of 2018, and since then really nothing has changed. I'm still waiting for therapy, I'm still on sick leave, I'm still not doing any research, and I still feel a bit hopeless. It's difficult to keep up the hope when you still have 6 months to go until you get any proper professional help.

The physicians, that only contact me by telephone, keep changing my medicine because I'm still not doing well, but in reality they know, just like me, that the best treatment for depression and OCD is CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). The problem is that there aren't enough resources for mental illness. There is so much more funding for research of physical illnesses than there is for mental illnesses. I, myself, work with cancer research, but even I think that more money needs to be put into mental health/illness research rather than physical illnesses. I'm not saying that physical illnesses are unimportant, but if we keep saying that mental health is as important as physical health, but then do nothing to validate this saying the stigma attached to mental health issues will never ever come to an end.



Luckily I have the support of family and friends, and I'm dancing a lot to try and help me get out. I've also noticed that going into woods is very soothing. Anyone that knows me at all, knows that I am not an outdoorsy type of person not in the slightest. I much prefer to sit in my armchair at home with a nice book or a cuppa. However, autumn has a unique allure that draws me out into the woods.


Just a week ago my sister and I went out and photographed a bit. I was wearing my Son de Flor dress that in itself has an allure that can't quite be described. This dress makes me want to twirl to the end of the world and back. It a magical dress from an equally magical brand.






Dress: Son de Flor (here)
Cardigan: Lindex (old)
Belt: Can't remember
Scarf: Through LootCrate's Wizarding World Subscription Box (here)
Boots: A sporty shop in London that I can't remember the name of

Which season has an allure to you? For me, it is always autumn. The colours of the trees, the crunching of the leaves under your lace up boots. The cold sharp air and the pale sun, all have a special place in my heart.




I hope you are all enjoying the season. Much love,
Mona

2018-08-07

Dungaree fun



Hello everyone,

Last week I posted a mini blog post with a fun little video that I had made, but I thought I’d write a proper post today. Not regarding the previous post as a “real” blog post the latest post was in the end of July of 2017. So, what has happened since?

Well, to be honest, a lot has happened, the most noticeable would be that my hair is now lighter and shorter. In the post back in 2017 I wrote that I am having a hard time fitting blogging into my life, and I wrote I didn’t know if it was a lack of time, inspiration or content, and now in hindsight I can say that  it was all three with the addition of a deteriorating mental health. At the end of last summer my depression was creeping back, and I was frustrated that it was back. It got quite dark and I once again questioned my being alive, as I often do when the depression is back. I had ended all my medication, but had to see a doctor to get help, because I was very quickly slipping into a very very dark place. I was once again started on new medicine. I did not get better and that took it’s toll on my relationship with my then-boyfriend. I spent the better time of the autumn getting on and off different medication and basically crying. Feeling like life was, once again, really tough. I was lucky to have the support of beautiful friends, and the undying love from my family (that I could not live without). I also started seeing a therapist, which is expensive but was very much worth it at that time. In December I broke up with my then-boyfriend, and post-Christmas things started getting a little better. I got a medicine that worked a little bit better and things weren’t black as night, but more of a grey.





For most of the spring I don’t feel like I quite did anything at all. I was very busy though. My dearest sister got her PhD degree and spring sprung like springs do. I busied myself with dancing. Dance has been one of my life’s saviours. When I dance I am so focused that I am completely in the moment. There is no time to worry about the future or thresh in the past, it is only then and there. It is only now. I feel like I am completely in the moment and completely gone, all at the same time. It is nothing quite like it and I love it. Dance is a great therapy for me.

In march I found out that it will take one year before I will be able to see a psychiatrist. I am currently in the queue, waiting for that. And in the meantime I feel like my life is on hold. I write a lot, about how I feel and updates on Instagram (@curlsncake). I wrote a post on Instagram about my current feelings only a couple of days ago. Like I already mentioned, I feel like my life is in a pause. I’m not well enough to do my research, and am on sick leave from that. The research itself is bad for my health as it is a very highly demanding job and it gives me anxiety. I doubt my abilities and I feel like I will never be good or smart enough to manage my research, so I worry. I worry about who I am, if I am not a scientist. I worry about what my future holds, if anything at all. And I worry about my worth. I feel worthless and stupid. My depression however is better. I have bad days, but most are okay. Not good, but manageable. It’s just that my anxiety is so high and I feel like there isn’t one thing that I’m not worried about. I feel very unsure about everything…

I try to be creative though, with baking and makeup. Coordinating outfits and dancing when I can. I feel very tired very often, and most often than not I need breaks to be able to finish something, because my energy is low. I meet up with kind and good friends that give me joy, and I hang a lot on Instagram. I’ve noticed that being creative helps. It gives something to the soul that truly nothing else can give you. And that, my friends, is why this blog is back in business. I think I need this blog now more than ever. If you are reading this, then I am so happy that also you are back here. Thank You!



Finally, on to this outfit. I adore these dungarees from Lucy & Yak. I saw these dungarees in lilac on Instagram worn by none other than the gorgeous Magnus, and she suggested I get a red pair. As the faithful follower I am, I got a red pair, and I am in LOVE! These dungarees are the comfiest thing I’ve ever worn, and it’s super duper cute too. I just love them so much. I wore it with a t-shirt from Monki and I was good to go. My sister and I shot these photos and I had so much fun. These dungarees make me sillier than what I am, and I just felt like a happy, playful child in them!


T-shirt: Monki (here)
Dungarees: Lucy and Yak (here)
Shoes: Ecco (old)

What do you think about dungarees? Are they in or out? Would you wear them, and if yes, in which colours?




Once again, I want to thank you so much for reading this. You really are wonderful people made of diamonds and pure gold, and I think you are all wonderful.


Much love,
Mona

2018-07-31

A Summer Day

Hello anyone that might still see this,
I have been gone from this blog for so long now, I can't imagine anyone seeing this...

I just wanted to say that I hope that you are all well and let you know that I've made a little video:


It's just a warm summer's day...

Hope you all like it and I'm very happy to be back!

Much love,
Mona

2017-07-27

Maple and Oak Designs



Hello all,
Once again I disappeared. I'm having a very hard time fitting my blogging into my life somehow. Whether for lack of time, inspiration or content. However today I'm back with a post (as you very clearly can see), and it's half-outfit post, half-introduction (to a company).

Without further ado, I want to introduce you to Maple and Oak Designs.
Leonie, the creator, owner and designer of Maple and Oak, and I have been Instagram friends for some time, and I have secretly admired her company of fun and unique accessories. So when Leonie contacted me about a collaboration I was very happy indeed.



Leonie kindly sent me one of her rockabilly headbands from her shop, and I love everything about it. First off, red is probably my favourite colour to wear. And secondly, and more importantly, polka dots! Polka dots people! I do love me some polka dots.

This headband instantly lifts any outfit with it's vintage inspired design. It's so cute, and effortlessly so. Gosh it's adorable!


Maple and Oak's accessories are hand made from vintage, reclaimed and retro fabrics, to reduce the strain on the planet, and it came from all the way over in Canada.

In August Maple and Oak will relaunch their website and shop. You can check it all out here.

Also, check out their Facebook page (here) and Instagram (@mapleandoak). I will let you in on a little secret too. If you follow Maple and Oak, there might *wink* be a coupon code coming in time with the relaunch of the website.

They ship internationally (yay) and have a whole myriad of wonderfully funky, quirky accessories. I've personally got my eyes on the hood scarves and felted ponchos (as well as the rest of their rockabilly headbands).


Blouse: Miss Patina (old)
Dress: Closet via ModCloth (old)
Shoes: ModCloth (here)



I love when you can feel the heart that goes into a creation, and with Leonie's Maple and Oak the love, hard work and fun is tangible.

Hope you're all doing great.
Much love,