2016-01-09

From the Bottom to the Top



Hello lovely people!
I hope you are all having a nice weekend. On Monday I go back to work, and I'm excited while at the same time mourning my late mornings.

Today I'm going to touch upon how I feel about a certain part of my body, and what society tells us about this. It won't be The body post that I've intended to write, inspired by Klara of The Robot That Had a Heart. You can read Klara's magnificent body positivity post here. For me, that post will come another time, but it's more about a single part of my body... That was highlighted in these jeans.

Yes, my arse.

Since I've developed my "womanly" body I have always been pear shaped. That is, my hips and arse are wider than my top. Other than making jeans and trouser shopping extremely difficult, it has also affected how I see myself and my size. I often feel as if I am "wide" just because of my curvy hips. In reality though I'm a size small-medium. But my perception of my size is strongly affected by my curvyness.




These tight jeans, that I almost couldn't get over my arse, made me almost cringe at first. My hips looked so huge and my arse looked positively JLo-esque. Some of you may be thinking that it's not too bad, and that JLo's arse is one to strive for. Many think she's got a beautiful body (as do I), but the point I want to make is that it doesn't quite matter what others think. If you don't feel beautiful or like you are "the right size" nothing anyone's going to say will make a difference.

I really like Meghan Tainor's song All About That Bass, and I think body positive messages like that are brilliant, "Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top" - Yes! Great!
However there is a line in that song that bothers me beyond belief.
"Boys they like a little more booty to hold at night" - Big Fat NO!



Why should it matter to me if I have the "booty" that boys like. First of all, I'm no object that's here to please boys. What boys like couldn't mean less to me. We don't want a world where I'm supposed to think: "My arse is big, but it's okay because someone else (a man) will like it". Secondly, I think the whole reasoning is wrong. We want to live in a world where people like me think: "My arse is big, but it's okay because I can be the way I am".

I just think we're focusing far too much on what others think, and what society says is right and good. And I hear you, it's hard not to listen to all the countless of voices that have opinions about women's bodies. But accepting your body, big arse and all, should come from within. It should not be a result of a man giving you the "right" to accept it, as it feels like it is today in the world.

In Sweden there is a commercial for a matchmaking website where they say you shouldn't worry about your imperfections because someone out there loves them. Again, it's giving the power of body acceptance to someone else, when it is such a valuable thing that we should keep for ourselves.

I'm ranting now, but the point I wanted to make is that: Don't rely on someone else to accept your body. I finally decided that "Yes, my arse does look big in the jeans, but that's my body!", and it didn't come from someone else telling me "No really, you look great".





About this lovely knitted cardigan, that I feel has a 40's vibe to it. It's from Emmy Design, that makes vintage inspired clothing, and I just fell for this cardigan. Good thing too, because it's been so cold lately that woollen cardis are a necessity.


Cardigan: Emmy Design (here)
Jeans: River Island (old)
Heels: ModCloth (here)

To anyone who got this far, thanks for staying with me in my rant about this. I just want people to look to themselves for acceptance and happiness.

Much love,



23 comments:

  1. Well said! No one should have to rely on the opinions of others in order to accept themselves!

    Xo

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    1. Thank you Liana! It is so true, and it feels like we keep telling young girls that it's that way.
      Much love!

      Delete
  2. Agreed! Anyone can give their positive opinion on your body, but it will never matter if you yourself can't see it.<3

    VEGETARIAN COURTESY

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    1. Exactly! Which is why it's so important that we teach our children self-love and self acceptance.
      Much love

      Delete
  3. That is a brilliant post Mona! I agree with everything you said about self-acceptance. Most of the time, we don't focus on how we see ourselves, but how others see us - I'm still guilty of that from time to time unfortunately. It is such hard work to accept our body and image, it takes time and as the years go on, it becomes easier I guess. If we had to listen to everything people said, we'd have to be Metamorphomagi to please everybody! ;)
    And I do think these jeans look super nice on you :D

    Julia xx

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    1. Thank you so much Julia <3
      Yeah, I do the same thing. It's hard especially with society telling us that the opinions of others (especially men) are so important.
      I think it does become easier with time. I mean for me at least it's easier now compared to 10 years ago when I was a teen.
      Hahaha, exactly. And as far as I can tell that's a rather rare gift, even in the wizarding world.
      Thank you darling, you're too kind.
      Much love

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  4. I think you look beautiful and well put together here. I wouldn't have known you felt that way unless you told us. I always like honest posts like this. I completely agree. I have never cared what a man thinks. I've always dressed to impress myself and wear good clothes because it makes me feel good. On another note, your cardigan is so gorgeous. I didn't know that brand so I will check it out.

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    1. Thank you so much Imogen.
      Yeah, that's why I told you. We don't know about other people's insecurities, which is why a comment on something can matter so much.
      Good for you!! Impressing yourself should be the only goal when getting dressed. And wearing what makes you feel good is the best!
      Thank you! Oh yes, I've fallen in love with Emmy. My NYE dress was also an Emmy Design.
      Thank you so much for your input, I strive to be like you when it comes to dressing to make yourself feel good ;)
      Much love

      Delete
  5. Hear, hear! Wise words that should be in bold letters. It can be so exhausting to see how acceptance of your own body is supposed to be sought after in the approval of others.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thank you so much! I completely agree with you. It makes everything so hard to rely on others for acceptance. I think the best thing we can teach our children is self-love.
      Thank you for your input!
      Much love

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  6. Yaaasss girl, agree with this 100%! I also have a pear shaped body type and used to feel down after comparing myself to the hourglass figure that's plastered all over the media but I'm slowly but surely learning to love what God gave me. Who cares what others think, it doesn't affect you in the slightest. I think your figure is absolutely amazing and you look phenomenal in those jeans babe! xx

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    1. Aaaah thanks so much Andini!!!
      Hourglasses are great, but so is pear and inverted triangles and column and all other body shapes!
      Exactly! Shouldn't matter at all.
      Haha! Thanks darling, you're too kind :* <3
      Much love

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  7. You are gorgeous doll! And no matter what our sizes are, we are still all beautiful. The world gives us such mixed messages about what is good or bad..when neither is bad. Girls say skinny is out in music or bigger is better and all it does is just send mixed messages and silliness when all sizes are beautiful. We should be focusing on health and confidence, that is more important than size!! Gorgeous you x

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    1. Thank you so much. So are you!
      I agree with you - all sizes are gorgeous. And media does send mixed messages, it's like Julia said in the comments: "we'd have to be Metamorphomagi to please everybody". I agree what health is the number one thing we should focus on. And confidence of course!
      Much love <3

      Delete
  8. There's a lot wrong in Meghan Trainor's song but there's also much right. It's a step in the right direction, I think, and as a society, we are making progress. Baby steps! It will take time but I think of today and compare it to even 2-3 years ago and it's amazing how different it is. I think we've come a far way with acceptance and diversity - hopefully it continues!

    BTW, you look AWESOME! ;)

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    1. I agree, I'm very divided when it comes to that song. And I do also think we are taking baby steps. I don't know if I agree in that we've come far with acceptance and diversity, I think there is quite a lot lacking. But I do hope that it will continue as it has!
      Thank you so much darling!!
      Much love

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  9. Yes! I couldn't agree more! Self-love is really the only thing that matters...once you start worrying about what others think (even if what they're saying about you is positive)..you're never going to feel 100% comfortable in your own skin. It took me far too long to figure that one out...but my entire view of myself has completely changed since I came to terms with self-love. But seriously, Mona, you are rocking those jeans! You look fantastic! And I love the 40s vibe of your cardigan. :)

    Hope you have a lovely week at work!

    -Lindsey
    http://have-clothes-will-travel.com

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    1. Yeah I agree with you.
      It's so hard when you have to think about what others think. I am still figuring it out, I haven't mastered it quite yet, but I'm getting there (and surprisingly blogging has helped). I'm so glad for you though! Self-love is awesome and I believe that (just as you said) it can change quite a lot in how we see ourselves.
      Oh thank you so much! I really love the cardigan too, it's warm and nice as well as being classy.
      Thank you! You too!
      Much love

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  10. I love the detailed knit of Emmy Design cardigan, especially at the shoulders wait and wrists. I love your attitude but hope you don't mind me saying I think you have a lovely figure and look fabulous in those jeans! Your hair and lipstick look pretty too. I hope your Monday went well :)

    http://www.full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/

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    1. Yes, I agree, it so nice and detailed. You should see Emmy Design's other cardigans, they are all beautiful.
      Thank you. And not at all, of course I don't mind. I discussed this with someone on instagram, that even though I believe we should be the ones to give acceptance to ourselves, I don't think compliments are wrong or bad in any way. They are in fact very nice, so thank you so much! It's very kind of you to say that!
      Thanks! Hope your week is going well too!
      Much love

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  11. Hi there, I really need your help! My Youtube channel is a project for University and my grade for the course depends on how much engagement the videos/channel has. It would mean the world to me if you could check it out, leave some comments/likes and if you like what you see, please subscribe (I need 250 subscribers by Friday, eek!). I would of course return the favor! Thank you from the bottom of my heart in advance!
    Channel link: https://www.youtube.com/c/wingsforliberty

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is such a great empowering post Mona! I'm like you and on the pear shape side. I've learnt - and am still learning that it's ok to have such wide hips! When I was younger it made me feel like my body wasn't good enough but I know now that it doesn't matter what shape we are and that my hips are normal and how they were meant to be.
    Emma Xx

    www.emmaslookingglass.com

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    1. Thank you so much darling Emma!
      Yeah it feels like it is something that I need to remind myself ever so often. I know exactly what you mean - I felt the same way.
      Precisely! You are so beautiful just as you are! Everyone is beautiful as they are!
      Much love

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