I had planned these photos of this gorgeous Poppy dress and Deer Arrow brooch set for a blog post, but this post will be so different from what I originally thought. I hope it doesn't take away anything from the lovely dress and brooch set.
My day started in an interesting manner when I was given a "compliment" on an instagram photo. I was told I don't look good in makeup, and the person who said this also said that he preferred "my natural self". Although the person had intended it as a compliment I found myself taking offence. First of all, saying I don't look good in one way is much more of an insult than a compliment. Secondly, this person preferred "my natural self". How I decide to look is a matter that is only decided by me. His sentiment for my natural self is completely irrelevant. It's my face and I'll wear makeup on it if that is what I want to do. See the actual "conversation" just below.
However, this sparked a thought that's been bothering me since. Where do people, and especially men, get the idea that they have a say at all in what I decide to look like? The discussion with this man turned to feminism, and I came to realise that this is a feminist issue.
I'm very privileged in that I live in a fairly gender equal nation. I'm not saying feminism is not needed here in Sweden, but in terms of gender equality there are places that are much worse off than Sweden. I tend to forget that all places are not like Sweden. So when the person asked me if I was a feminist and told me "I must drive my boyfriend crazy" I was strangely irritated. I am not used to comments like that. What bothered me were a multiple of assumptions that this person made:
1. Why am I assumed to be heterosexual? The spectrum of sexuality is varied and colourful. I could be anything for all you know! For the sake of this post I will share this: I do not identify as heterosexual!
2. Why am I assumed to have a boyfriend? Why do women always have to "belong" to a man? Why can't I be single? And not unhappily single and looking, but single because I don't want to belong to a man or another person! Single by choice! It's a thing - believe me!
3. Why is my assumed boyfriend assumed to not be a feminist? Feminism is not a fight for women, it is a fight for people who think that all people no matter gender or anything else should have the same social, political, economic and personal rights as the next person. It is very much a fight that men need to take on as well! If you believe in equality you are a feminist whether you like the term "feminist" or not!
And that's only a part of my thoughts. I'm rambling now, and I haven't digested the comments yet, but I needed to get my instant thoughts down somewhere before I exploded.
Moving on to this gorgeous dress by Poppy that I managed to get on sale and am so in love with! I adore the enormous skirt that is perfect for twirling and dancing around in. I love the summery stripes that make me think of hard sweets and ice lollies. I paired it with a beautiful handmade brooch from Deer Arrow's collaboration with the illustrator and my friend Morgane Carlier. The wee teapot and cup make me so happy! Which I definitely need now.
Brooch set: Deer Arrow